first lay aside our prejudices--our feelings of being wounded, angry, or in the right--and

second seek to understand the positions of others and
the lesson that the Sage is teaching us with the situation.

Even when another is truly out of line, it is only by accepting this and remaining balanced that you make it possible for positive change to occur. Gentleness and understanding create in others an unconscious willingness to be led.

The superior person therefore avoids the use of anger and force in trying times, knowing that they only prolong conflict. It is far wiser to accept that each experience we have is necessary for us to learn something about ourselves and about the higher laws of life.

The greatest openings come when we meet difficulty with acceptance, gentleness and a desire to understand the lesson underneath.

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from "Inner Truth" in Brian Browne Walker's I Ching